Introspection
by contemptressx
Summary: Love just wasn't meant for him. Reno-Centric, could be slightly OOC. No pairings but implied Cloti. Oneshot.


**A/N: This is one of my first introspective fics, and I've tried to keep it in character. I love Reno, and I decided that he was the sort of person who didn't bother with love and was pretty laid back. I also think that he's not someone who thinks things like this frequently, but maybe once in a blue moon?. I apologize if it's OOC. It'd been extra nice if you could review! Constructive Criticism is most welcome :D**

* * *

Reno was his own man.

He didn't need anyone else. He wasn't weak at all. He wasn't desperate for anything.

Despite his best efforts to convince himself of that every day, he still found himself slowly wondering what it'd be like have someone. Someone probably for a long time. Not one of his girlfriends who didn't last for more than 3 weeks.

It wasn't his fault that he didn't mouth the three magic words when asked.

It simply wasn't his thing!

He'd seen plenty of "love" to know what it was like. Or at least what it looked like. He'd seen it in his fellow turks, in fact.

Unrequited love was a recurring theme amongst them, apparently. Tseng was infatuated with Aerith, but she never even batted an eye towards him. Elena liked Tseng, but he didn't like her back, not in the way she wanted him to. Even Rude, who you could count on to be professional at all times, went soft when he saw Tifa Lockheart. But Tifa's eyes were on Cloud, and Cloud and Cloud only. That wasn't half bad though. Cloud finally began telling her how he felt about her.

So he'd deduced, from the love lives (or lack thereof) of his friends that love, or whatever that thing was, would never work out for him. It wasn't like he was a womanizer. He didn't sleep with different women every night. He wasn't _that_ bad either. But it just wasn't something for him.

As he sat on one of the barstools of Seventh Heaven, nursing a drink with Elena happily chatting away with Tifa a few stools away, he couldn't help but think of all the possibilities that he could have if he found someone. Someone he could stay with, someone he'd actually be interested in, someone he could lo-

No, no, he couldn't do this to himself. Love was a weakness, after all. It just made you go soft. He'd asked Cloud about it once. Both the men were sitting a few barstools away from each other when Reno noticed the way Cloud's eyes followed Tifa everywhere, when Reno suddenly asked, "So she can make you jelly in a second, huh?", to which Cloud just shrugged. Reno was surprised Cloud didn't throw him out. Taking that as a sign that all was safe, he further asked, "So she makes you weak then? I mean, you're so dependent on her all of a sudden and all."  
Cloud just kept looking elsewhere, when he finally broke the silence by saying, "No. She makes me strong", and put his empty glass on the counter as he left wordlessly.

Reno didn't believe him. At least, not entirely. How could someone who gave you strength not make you weak too? Because then you'd just be dependent on that someone all your life.

He looked over at Elena, and looked at the highlighted features of her face thanks to the bar's soft light. He remembered when she first joined the Turks, he had kind of liked her. But that was probably because he thought she was pretty.

" _You can't love, can you? You can't commit either."_

That what his longest lasting girlfriend of probably a month said to him before she left.

As he finished his drink, Tifa came over and asked, "You alright? You haven't said a word since you came here and that is an impossible feat." At that, he just laughed, and ordered another drink.

While having his second drink, he was laughing at himself for even thinking such things. Commitment? Love? Seriously? He mentally scolded himself for even touching that over hyped topic.

But maybe, one day, he could try?

He finished his drink and told Elena he was calling it a night, ignoring her surprised look, and decided that no, love wasn't something for him.

And he wasn't eager to try it either.


End file.
